My 15 Month old Sleeps Through the Night… Kinda

We all know the question “Is your baby sleeping through the night?” I tend pause and say “kinda.” I mean she does sleep through the night with a few nursing sessions in the mix. She doesn’t wake in the middle of the night and stay awake for hours. So yes she “sleeps through the night”…with me…in my bed. I get a full nights sleep and she’s happy, so I feel it’s a win win!

When I first found out I was pregnant I planned on my baby sleeping in her own room from the day she came home. She wouldn’t be in my bed oh no NEVER! 

Well after giving birth I couldn’t put my baby down. I held her in the hospital while she slept, I held her at home when she slept, I held her ALL DAY! Something in me said I needed to hold my baby. She wasn’t a big fan of being laid down in a bassinet either so that was another reason I held her. 

I tried putting her in her own sleep space,  I really did! I swaddled her, I laid her down with my shirt, I swaddled her in my shirt nothing worked she would just scream! I know you might say “girl let that baby cry, she’s got to learn!” What exactly is she learning though? That I will only respond to her cries during the day? That if she’s feeling pain or discomfort she’s got to deal with it herself until the morning? I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sleep train my baby. 

“Since becoming a mama I am learning to act on my instincts rather than what society tells me I should be doing”

– Serenemomlife

So what did I do? I held my baby. I nursed my baby to sleep for naps, I nursed my baby to sleep for bed, I nursed my baby throughout the night, and you know what I’m ok with it. 

We are 15 months into this journey and I still hold my daughter for naps, I still nurse her to sleep, she still bedshares with me, and she still nurses throughout the night. Yep I’m that mama! When will it end? I have no idea. She will be the one to decide. 

Since becoming a mama I am learning to act on my instincts rather than what society tells me I should be doing. My instincts tell me to follow my daughters lead. She knows when she’ll be ready to sleep on her own. Until then I’ll be here when she needs me. 

It’s the mornings when I wake up to a kiss. The days when she thinks she’s alone but realizes I’m there and instantly calms, that I know I’m making the right decision. 

I am perfectly content with this season of life that I am in. Are there days when I wish I could just lay her down and clean the house? Of course! But I will find time to get things done. Until then I will continue to cuddle my toddler! 

Do I get frustrated that I don’t get a lot of “alone time”? Sure! I mean who wouldn’t, but there’s one thing that my mom said when I was younger that has stuck with me. She said “You don’t get a break from your child.” I had my baby to take care of her. Not to love on her during the day and shun her off at night time. I became a SAHM because I wanted to be there at all times, including night time.

This isn’t to say that moms who sleep train are wrong. By all means YOU DO YOU MAMA! I know we all parent differently and that’s ok! 

I want my daughter to feel safe and secure, if that means cuddling her at night then that’s what I will do. So far she’s growing up to be a strong independent little girl. Yep, my breastfed, bedsharing, held constantly toddler is extremely independent. Sometimes it’s a little scary! She has developed a secure attachment, and can explore without fear because she knows I’m always there. 

So to the mom who doesn’t feel right sleep training your baby, I want you to know that IT’S OK! Follow your gut! Do you what you feel is best! If your gut tells you not to sleep train then don’t! If your gut tells you to respond to all cries, do it! Only you know what your baby needs! No one else! 

So tell me does your toddler still wake at night? Did you sleep train? How has it worked for you? Leave a comment! I’d love to hear your story!

-xoxo